why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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