My nipple is on Facebook.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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