Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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