Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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