I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
