Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
