I want to stick my p in your. b.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize