please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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