i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize