How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
