i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
