dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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