so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
