My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
