Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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