Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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