My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
