Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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