I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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