Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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