Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
