Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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