you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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