i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
