Duck Duck Cougar?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
