Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
