What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
