how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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