Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it glows. i had to have it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
