ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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