new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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