If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
