don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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