I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
