who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have already put on my inside pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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