I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
