did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
