what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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