Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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