hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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