32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
