My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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