I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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