Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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