If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
