Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Enjoy the penises
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
