If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
