why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
