Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He? As in you personified your dick?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
