No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
