i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
