went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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