he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
