btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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