So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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