I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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