There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize