I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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