Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
