Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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