Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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