Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
