just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
