Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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