Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
