Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
