I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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