he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
