i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
