im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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