If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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