She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
